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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Going viral on Threads:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Spotted on Telegram:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to make relationships easy? You must have entered the universe on cheat mode 😂🛸💕

communication, disagree, disagreement, easy, everyone, humor, i, relationship, relationships, sarcasm, should, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

1 month ago
coffee, eating, economy, food, grass, here, humor, joke, matcha, people, satire, tough
I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

5 months ago
awkward, awkward silence, care, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, introvert, silence, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

1 month ago
alarm, excuses, here, honesty, humor, i, late, lateness, laziness, procrastination, sarcasm, set, sorry, want
Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

2 months ago
closet, feet, fitted, fitted sheet, friends, humor, just, me, mistake, need, parenting, sheet, shitted, shitted feet, son
Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

1 month ago
activity, big, big H, creativity, funny idea, garden, h, helicopter, i, idea, luck, me, outdoor, outdoor activity, trap, wish, wish luck
My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

1 month ago
commit, commit crime, crime, DNA, everywhere, hair, humor, i, identity, leave, me, never, personal, personal trait, trait

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Going bananas on Telegram:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Live now on WhatsApp:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Trending via X:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Trending via Slack:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

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Activity Log ✨

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Living la vida taco!

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

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I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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