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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Going viral on WeChat:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Spotted on Reddit:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
Trying to open that package turns me into the Hulk, but with way fewer muscles and a lot more frustration 😤💪📦

frustration, hate, here, i, open, opening, package, person, sealed, tear, tear here, try, using

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

1 week ago

clothes, clothing, food, funny observation, humor, irony, know, light-colored, light-colored clothes, observation, spaghetti, stains
Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

17 hours ago

activity, bring, eat, food, fun, game, humor, i, me, play
I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

1 week ago

back, bro, chef, cooking, food, frustration, hate, humor, i, kitchen, later, meal, pan, recipe, something, staying, take, tell
I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

3 months ago

entertainment, humor, irony, leisure, much, product, self-deprecating, supervision, television, too, zero
I need an emergency cheeseburger.

2 days ago

cheeseburger, craving, emergency, fast, fast food, food, humor, i, need, snack, urgency
I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

2 weeks ago

age, getting, getting lost, humor, i, joke, lane, lost, memory, nostalgia, old, old age, take, walk, walking

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on X this month:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

76 shares on X this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

60 shares on Facebook this month:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Just landed via WeChat:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Just landed via Discord:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Just shared via Facebook:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Just landed via Facebook:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨