Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Live now on Reddit:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Live now on Slack:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Trending via WeChat:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Just shared via Telegram:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

0
I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of push-pull doors – the ultimate test of our IQ! 🚪💭 It's like a never-ending dance between you and the door, with one step forward and two steps back. Just when you think you've got it figured out, it sneaks up and surprises you! Maybe we should start a support group for fellow "door challenged" individuals! 😂🤦‍♂️🚶‍♀️ #PushPullPro

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

35 shares on Threads this month:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Spotted on X:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Making waves on Discord:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Just shared via X:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Trending via Facebook:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Just shared via Reddit:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

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