Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,236

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Making waves on Slack:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Just landed via Discord:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Going viral on TikTok:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Trending via YouTube:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
High standards save lives, and my prince still hasn't figured out my Wi-Fi password yet! 😂👑📶

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

0

2 months ago

childhood, food, great, hard, hard times, humor, hyena, i, laughs, survival, times, wild
God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

0

2 months ago

ark, biblical, creation, divine, Flood, God, humor, i, irony, joke, regret
My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

0

2 months ago

crisis, empty, existential, existential crisis, financial, financial struggle, humor, irony, joke, just, money, soul, struggle, wallet
Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

0

4 months ago

doing, driving, frustration, green, humor, joke, patience, sat, sign, stop, stop sign, today, traffic, turn, waiting, wondering
I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

0

2 months ago

band, bands, fashion, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, i, kid, music, new, nostalgia, old, old people, people, shirt, shirts, trend
The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

0

2 months ago

activity, beverages, caffeine, celebrate, celebration, drinking, fun, fun activity, golden, humor, hydrate, hydration, rule, socializing, three

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on WeChat this month:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

56 shares on X this month:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

38 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

79 shares on Slack this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Trending via TikTok:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Making waves on Twitch:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Making waves on Reddit:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨