I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

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Single by choice. Just not my choice.

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My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

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Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

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You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

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Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

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Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

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You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.