Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Just shared via Facebook:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Just shared via Slack:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Going viral on Slack:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Spotted on X:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Freshly posted on X:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Just landed via Reddit:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Pinning my way to a stress-free zone—where the only drama is which picture-perfect cake I'm definitely not baking! 🎨📌🍰

bad, humor, i, just, love, media, opinion, opinions, picture, pictures, Pinterest, positivity, pretty, social, social media, vibe, vibes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

0

2 months ago

act, better, bring, children, competition, drop, drop off, hate, humor, judgment, just, me, parent, parenting, parents, school
What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

0

2 months ago

awareness, awful, bad, bad time, current, current events, even, events, frustration, going, humor, irony, sarcasm, time, world
Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

0

2 months ago

announce, closed, embarrassment, eyes, eyes closed, health, honesty, humor, i, just, nurse, scale, weight
If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

0

2 months ago

convenience, force, humor, i, ID, Jedi, just, laziness, open, pistachio, sci-fi, snack, Star Wars
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

0

2 months ago

attitude, friendship, humor, joke, kindness, media, reason, sarcasm, smile, smiles, social, social media, someone, today, whatever
Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

0

2 months ago

domination, good, humor, manners, nerd, over, remember, shame, silicon, Silicon Valley, taken, technology, valley, world, world domination

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

47 shares on Telegram this month:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Just landed via Messenger:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨