Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Just landed via TikTok:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Trending via Telegram:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Seen just now on X:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Trending via Messenger:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Going viral on Facebook:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Making waves on Telegram:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a boyfriend with a built-in mute button 😂🤐 #QuietGoals

boyfriend, compliment, dog, friend, friends, girl, good, humor, i, love, pet, quiet, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

0

2 months ago

compliment, humor, joke, nice, potato, pun, shame, someone, tater, tots, wordplay
The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

0

3 months ago

4, 4 a.m., a.m., am, disturbing, early, early riser, exercise, humor, morning, morning routine, most, people, purpose, riser, routine, thing, waking, waking up
If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

0

2 months ago

ask, camping, humor, love, me, please, relationship
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

0

2 months ago

activity, balls, confidence, golf, humor, i, lot, sport
People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

0

2 months ago

acting, chill, energized, happy, humor, morning, people, sarcasm, Teletubby, thing
I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

0

2 months ago

buddy, i, insomnia, sleep, tonight, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

45 shares on Threads this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

39 shares on X this month:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Just landed via Messenger:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Going viral on TikTok:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Breaking via TikTok:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Live now on Reddit:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Just landed via TikTok:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨