Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Breaking via Messenger:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Going viral on X:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Trending via Reddit:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Just shared via TikTok:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Going viral on Reddit:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Just shared via Telegram:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Trending via Snapchat:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

I need a day off from myself.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I figure out how to call in sick to being me, I'll let you know! 🙃🤔😴

break, care, day, day off, humor, i, myself, need, relaxation, self, self-care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

0

2 months ago

bear, dating, honeypot, humor, metaphor, pants, playful, pooh, Pooh Bear, reply, trying
Imagine being social on social media.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, humor, imagine, interaction, irony, media, online, online interaction, social, social media
Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

0

2 months ago

doing, eating, funny observation, height, hell, humor, leaf, me, nervous, observation, people, stop, tall, tall people, tree
My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

0

2 months ago

appliances, blower, creativity, dryer, hair, hair dryer, household, humor, leaf, leaf blower, multitasking, powerful
This meeting could have been an oil painting.

0

2 months ago

art, critique, humor, meeting, office, oil, oil painting, painting, sarcasm
Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

0

2 months ago

another, attitude, break, defiance, humor, i, me, nonconformity, rebellion, rule, rule-breaking, show, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Slack this month:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

56 shares on Messenger this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Just shared via Discord:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Just shared via Reddit:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Going viral on Facebook:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Shared recently on X:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Breaking via Twitch:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need a day off from myself.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Imagine being social on social media.

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨