Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Trending via Discord:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Trending via Instagram:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Just shared via Threads:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Just landed via Messenger:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Going viral on Reddit:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you've got a hit solo album featuring "Greatest Conversations"! 🕺💬🗣️

80s, dancing, humor, i, myself, nostalgia, reflection, self, solitude, talking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

0

2 months ago

economics, expand, expansion, going, housing, humor, irony, keep, life, rent, universe
Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

0

2 months ago

chip, chips, classic, classic combo, Coca Cola, combo, funny observation, guy, just, knows, lay’s, Lay’s chip, observation, seen, snack, stuff, yellow
Most earthquakes could have been an email.

0

2 months ago

communication, earthquake, earthquakes, efficiency, email, humor, sarcasm, technology, work
9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, anything, humor, maybe, morning, motivation, optimism, possibility, procrastination, reality, time, tomorrow
Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

0

5 months ago

anxiety, escape, give, humor, just, me, minutes, panic, panic room, room, time
If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

0

2 months ago

close, comedy, door, haunted, house, humor, open

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

74 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Just shared via Telegram:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Spotted on Threads:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Just shared via Messenger:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨