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Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Spotted on Telegram:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Spotted on Threads:

I buy candles like I’m preparing for a Victorian blackout.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about imagining chaos on Love Island with humorous pool mishap.

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Commentary:
Making waves on Love Island, one cocktail at a time 🍹🏊‍♂️😆

chaos, contestant, contestants, course, drunk, every, forever, humor, i, island, life, love, Love Island, party, pool, reality, reality show, show, wasted

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84 shares on Instagram this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

71 shares on Telegram this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

51 shares on X this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Going viral on YouTube:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Spotted on Facebook:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Making waves on TikTok:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Seen just now on Slack:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Just landed via Telegram:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

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Activity Log ✨

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Losing weight is basically all about being cold 90% of the time.

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

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