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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,878

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Shared recently on Discord:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Making waves on Slack:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When your personality is priced like a designer purse, not a bargain bin! 👜😎✨

attitude, boundary, clearance, confidence, dating, humor, independence, less, much, personality, relationship, running, sale, self-worth, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

1 month ago
body, body language, experiment, gender, humor, language, legs, playful, self-expression, sitting, wide
I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

1 month ago
anticipation, bed, home, humor, i, tiredness, tomorrow, wait, work, workplace
“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

5 days ago
asking, bring, Christmas, gift, holiday, humor, joke, Santa, sarcasm, sense
Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

1 month ago
fun, games, grip, home, lose, reality, remote, remote work, telecommuting, work
“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

1 month ago
athlete, attempt, begin, comedy, couch, fitness, humor, i, laziness, motivation, myself, procrastination, self-motivation, third, whisper
Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

1 month ago
alive, being, cost, even, expensive, experience, good, good time, having, humor, irony, life, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Shared recently on X:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Live now on YouTube:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

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Activity Log ✨

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

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If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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