Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Just landed via Telegram:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Just landed via X:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Making waves on Threads:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Breaking via Instagram:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Wow, who knew confidence could be booked in advance? 🚗🍽️😂

communication, date, expectations, held, humor, i, men, only, pick, plans, power, relationships, reservation, reservations, uncertainty, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

0

2 months ago

age, fat, humor, life, money, move, move on, poor, quit, retire, too, young
His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, courtroom, hands, honor, humor, joke, me, speech, stop, talking
I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

0

2 months ago

disaster, failure, humor, i, irony, met, never, problem, turn
I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

0

4 weeks ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
Unfollowers, take me with you!

0

2 months ago

disconnect, humor, me, media, relationship, social, social media, take, unfollower
My nickname in high school was “who?”

0

2 months ago

high, high school, humor, identity, memory, nickname, school, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WeChat this month:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

62 shares on Slack this month:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

45 shares on X this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

100 shares on Slack this month:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

28 shares on Threads this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Going viral on Messenger:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Trending via TikTok:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Making waves on Discord:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Shared recently on X:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Unfollowers, take me with you!

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨