Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine the aliens showing up at dawn like, 'Surprise! 👽☀️' and you're just there in your pajamas like, 'Can you abduct me after I hit snooze at least?' Good morning, universe! 😂☕️"

alarm, alien, asleep, before, being, ever, exhaustion, fear, hate, hope, humor, i, invasion, night, sleep, start, waking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

0

2 months ago

brag, distraction, doing, forget, humor, i, irony, memory, self-deprecating
Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

0

2 months ago

again, ask, cravings, desire, ever, food, humor, i, me, mean, meaning, offer, say, snack, time
It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

0

2 months ago

cleanup, couple, declutter, electronic, electronics, humor, okay, organization, past, rid, storage, tech, things
Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

0

2 months ago

agree, back, cars, cooper, drivers, empty, empty stalls, flag, humor, looking, mini, Mini Cooper, need, parked, parking, put, stalls, stop, where
Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

0

5 months ago

another, career, communication, humor, job, know, one-sided, pursuit, relationship, work
“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

0

2 months ago

exactly, expectation, humor, okay, pass, patience, procrastination, this too shall pass, time, too, uncertainty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

29 shares on X this month:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

70 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Making waves on Slack:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Spotted on TikTok:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Spotted on Telegram:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Just landed via TikTok:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Seen just now on Discord:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Making waves on TikTok:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Just shared via Messenger:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Shared recently on X:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨