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Commentary:
"Instructions are like playlists— do men ever follow them fully? 🤷‍♂️ Honestly, women are more like a mystery novel with no spoilers! 📖🔍 #LostInTranslation"

came, communication, humor, instructions, irony, men, read, relationship, women

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32 shares on YouTube this month:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

40 shares on Discord this month:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Just landed via Threads:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Freshly posted on X:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Going viral on WeChat:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Just landed via TikTok:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Keep the laugh going 😂

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

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