Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Instructions are like playlists— do men ever follow them fully? 🤷‍♂️ Honestly, women are more like a mystery novel with no spoilers! 📖🔍 #LostInTranslation"

came, communication, humor, instructions, irony, men, read, relationship, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

0

2 months ago

December, delivery, holiday, humor, i, junk, last, neighbor, neighbors, parcel, refusal, year
The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

0

1 month ago

band, concert, giant, giant magnet, guitar, hands, humor, i, influence, magnet, music, shows, The Velvet Underground, underground, velvet
These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

0

2 months ago

adulting, another, balance, bills, days, job, self-care, work, yourself
I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

0

2 months ago

compliment, confidence, decision, decision making, decisions, government, humor, i, independence, just, making, myself, outcome, read, said, sarcasm, self-compliment, self-esteem, should, thanks, thing
I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, gorgeous, home, humor, i, maintenance, procrastination, shower, terrarium
Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

0

5 months ago

action, actions, behavior, confusion, drive, frustration, insanity, sense, trying, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Just shared via Slack:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Just landed via Threads:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Seen just now on X:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Live now on Slack:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨