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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Live now on Reddit:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Just landed via Facebook:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Making waves on TikTok:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Shared recently on Slack:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Shared recently on X:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Just shared via X:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living la vida taco! 🌮😂 #ExpandingHorizonsAndWaistlines"

comedy, experience, experiences, fat, food, full, humor, humor about food, mexican, Mexican restaurant, most, place, restaurant, restaurants, self-deprecating, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

0

1 month ago

always, Anglo, answer, contacts, electric, humor, i, just, landlord, Mike, name, names, phone, phone contacts, phones, realization, surname
Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

0

2 months ago

anger, frustration, give, humor, joke, just, me, minute, rage, rage room, relief, room, stress, stress relief
Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

0

2 months ago

beauty, haircut, healthcare, humor, medical, satire, self-care, should, wellness
Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

0

2 months ago

beverage, coke, crisp, diet, Diet Coke, drink, humor, i, moan, refreshment, soda
When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

0

2 months ago

ask, audacity, back, charger, family, humor, percentage, phone, phone charger, technology, teenager
I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

0

2 months ago

disrespect, etiquette, humor, i, irony, sarcasm, sir, title

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Breaking via Facebook:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Making waves on WeChat:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Going viral on YouTube:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨