Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Just shared via Instagram:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living la vida taco! 🌮😂 #ExpandingHorizonsAndWaistlines"

comedy, experience, experiences, fat, food, full, humor, humor about food, mexican, Mexican restaurant, most, place, restaurant, restaurants, self-deprecating, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

2 months ago

activity, grass, health, humor, i, media, mental, mental health, outdoor, outdoor activity, please, relatable, social, social media, still, today
Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

2 months ago

1, 2, exercise, fitness, gay, hour, hours, humor, joke, just, straight, time, workout
The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

2 months ago

activity, back, bring, bring back, competition, duel, humor, need, thing, tradition
I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

1 month ago

elegant, humor, personality, perverted, whimsical
This Monday could have been an email.

2 months ago

email, frustration, humor, Monday, office, procrastination, productivity, work
“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

2 months ago

access, God, humor, i, information, investigation, irony, know, media, privacy, public, public information, resources, social, social media, stalking

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

28 shares on X this month:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Spotted on Slack:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Trending via TikTok:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Breaking via Messenger:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Making waves on Slack:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Just shared via Threads:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

This Monday could have been an email.

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨