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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Seen just now on YouTube:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Just landed via Threads:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Live now on X:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Spotted on Instagram:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Going viral on Twitch:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Trending via Slack:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Witty text about being full of life and Mexican restaurant adventures, humorously celebrating experiences.
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Commentary:
"Living la vida taco! 🌮😂 #ExpandingHorizonsAndWaistlines"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Slack this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,375

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Just shared via Messenger:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Trending via X:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Just shared via TikTok:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Making waves on Threads:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Live now on Snapchat:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

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