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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Going viral on Telegram:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Going bananas on Snapchat:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Just shared via TikTok:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Just landed via Facebook:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Spotted on Discord:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Trending via Pinterest:

My middle finger salutes you.

Trending via Threads:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

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I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.
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Commentary:
I hope my pager still works! 🚀💾🎧

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Messenger this month:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

28 shares on Threads this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,634

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Just shared via Slack:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Spotted on YouTube:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Just shared via Telegram:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Breaking via Messenger:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

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