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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,850

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Making waves on Discord:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Just shared via Reddit:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Just landed via Slack:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Trending via Facebook:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Going viral on Reddit:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

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Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.
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Commentary:
🕷️ Just picturing a bunch of eight-legged creatures scurrying off with giggles… Maybe we wouldn't be so scared of them! Can you imagine the joyful chaos if spiders decided to sprinkle a bit of laughter in their escape tactics? It would definitely add a comedic twist to our arachnophobia adventures! 😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on YouTube this month:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

36 shares on TikTok this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Just landed via Slack:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Going viral on Discord:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Seen just now on Slack:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Spotted on Threads:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

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