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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

16 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Going viral on YouTube:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Going viral on Reddit:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Just shared via Telegram:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Just shared via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Making waves on YouTube:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

5 months ago

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

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Commentary:
🕷️ Just picturing a bunch of eight-legged creatures scurrying off with giggles… Maybe we wouldn't be so scared of them! Can you imagine the joyful chaos if spiders decided to sprinkle a bit of laughter in their escape tactics? It would definitely add a comedic twist to our arachnophobia adventures! 😄

anxiety, away, creature, fear, giggle, humor, imagine, ran, run, spider, us

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

16 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Just shared via Telegram:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Trending via Twitch:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Reported on Messenger:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Trending via Discord:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Making waves on Facebook:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Spotted on Slack:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

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