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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Making waves on Facebook:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Breaking via TikTok:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Going viral on YouTube:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Just shared via Discord:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Breaking via WeChat:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Live now on TikTok:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

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Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.
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Commentary:
🕷️ Just picturing a bunch of eight-legged creatures scurrying off with giggles… Maybe we wouldn't be so scared of them! Can you imagine the joyful chaos if spiders decided to sprinkle a bit of laughter in their escape tactics? It would definitely add a comedic twist to our arachnophobia adventures! 😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

54 shares on Threads this month:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

41 shares on X this month:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,042

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Going bananas on Reddit:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Spotted on WeChat:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Just landed via Pinterest:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Just shared via Twitch:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

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