Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Just landed via TikTok:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Live now on Instagram:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your soulmate gets jealous of an alarm clock, you know it's true love 😂⏰💤

button, dating, humor, i, love, me, morning, much, relationship, search, self-love, sleep, snooze, snooze button, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My toxic trait is optimism.

0

2 months ago

humor, optimism, personality, personality trait, sarcasm, toxic, toxic trait, trait
Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

0

2 months ago

amount, boss, day, five, give, high, high five, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, job, joke, motivation, motivational, motivational prank, office, office humor, prank, workplace, workplace joke
Using my one phone call to call Santa.

0

2 months ago

call, Christmas, festive, holiday, humor, joke, phone, phone call, prank, Santa, using
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

0

2 months ago

aging, cause, day, fun, heartburn, humor, next, nostalgia, recipe, searching, Thanksgiving, young, youth
My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, bed, bottom, favorite, Godfather, guy, half, horse, humor, mafia, movie, movie scene, scene, scream, screams, stolen
To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

0

2 months ago

bed, comedy, dialogue, guards, humor, humorous, humorous quote, irony, playful, sleep, take, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

48 shares on X this month:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

81 shares on Threads this month:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

68 shares on Discord this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Spotted on Slack:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

Seen just now on TikTok:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Making waves on TikTok:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Freshly posted on X:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My toxic trait is optimism.

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨