Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Spotted on WeChat:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Spotted on Discord:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Trending via Messenger:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Spotted on Messenger:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Introverts be like "I know a place", but that place is always their cozy and peaceful sanctuary called home 🏡🤫 #IntrovertLife

home, i, introvert, know, place, social

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

0

2 months ago

2012, after, apology, defense, hand, humor, i, media, phone, post, second, social, social media, sorry, time
Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, happy, humor, report, slang, still, time, used, watch, youth
The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

0

2 months ago

history, humor, invention, key, locks, point, turning, turning point, wordplay
I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

0

1 month ago

aspiration, bless, blessing, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pocket, pockets, stability, stable, wealth
I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, forgetfulness, humor, life, me, mind, station, thought, train, where
I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

0

2 months ago

fun, funny moment, great, great time, humor, i, moment, realization, self-esteem, self-image, time, ugly

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

96 shares on Discord this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Spotted on X:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Spotted on Discord:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Spotted on Twitch:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Breaking via Messenger:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Making waves on Slack:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨