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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Just landed via Reddit:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Just shared via WeChat:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Spotted on Discord:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

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It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.
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Commentary:
🎶 "It's amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I'm going to another restaurant." 🎵 Who knew Justin Bieber had such teleportation powers? Looks like this person prefers a different kind of vibe! 🚀☕🎤

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Threads this month:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

43 shares on X this month:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

78 shares on X this month:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Freshly posted on Threads:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Spotted on Instagram:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Going viral on X:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Making waves on Slack:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Shared recently on Instagram:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Going viral on Reddit:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Just shared via X:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

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