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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

22 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Trending via X:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Just landed via X:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Going viral on Discord:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Going viral on Facebook:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

5 months ago

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

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Commentary:
🎶 "It's amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I'm going to another restaurant." 🎵 Who knew Justin Bieber had such teleportation powers? Looks like this person prefers a different kind of vibe! 🚀☕🎤

amazing, another, bieber, coffee, coffee shop, escape, example, funny situation, going, humor, justin, Justin Bieber, music, place, playing, restaurant, shop, situation, transport, transportation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

22 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Spotted on WeChat:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Reported on Facebook:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Just landed via Messenger:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Making waves on Twitch:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Making waves on YouTube:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Making waves on X:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

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