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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Just landed via Threads:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Going viral on Reddit:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Just shared via Messenger:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Just shared via Reddit:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

0
I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the passenger seat in a Cybertruck is reserved exclusively for Elon Musk's ego! 🚗👤 #LonelyRide

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

86 shares on Threads this month:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

27 shares on Discord this month:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Making waves on Slack:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Just landed via Messenger:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

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