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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Making waves on Pinterest:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Just landed via Discord:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Just shared via WeChat:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Spotted on Discord:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

0
I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the passenger seat in a Cybertruck is reserved exclusively for Elon Musk's ego! 🚗👤 #LonelyRide

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

This meeting could have been a cake.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

78 shares on X this month:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

67 shares on Threads this month:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

53 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Just shared via Facebook:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Trending via Facebook:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Just shared via Reddit:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

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