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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Making waves on Telegram:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Going viral on Discord:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Going viral on Instagram:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Breaking via TikTok:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Live now on WeChat:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sacrificing snacks to the jolly snow god—Santa might be the original foodie influencer! 🍪🥛✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Facebook this month:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

89 shares on Discord this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

43 shares on TikTok this month:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

99 shares on Slack this month:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like even faster food.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Shared recently on Instagram:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Making waves on TikTok:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Spotted on Threads:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Spotted on Messenger:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Trending via Messenger:

Need a permanent vacuum for unwanted thoughts.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

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