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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Just landed via WeChat:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Making waves on Messenger:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Live now on X:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Trending via Discord:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny tech joke about how MS Teams detects inactivity and exaggerates absence.

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Commentary:
MS Teams: The drama queen of software, assuming I've gone on a world tour every time I blink 🌍✈️😂

1, away, call, country, home, laptop, left, ms, MS Teams, remote, remote work, say, second, Teams, technology, video, video call, work, work from home

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

38 shares on Threads this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

73 shares on Discord this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Going viral on Facebook:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Breaking via Reddit:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Making waves on Telegram:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Trending via Instagram:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Just shared via Slack:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Spotted on TikTok:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Spotted on X:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

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Activity Log ✨

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨