My body is a vessel for various dips.

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Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

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Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

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People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

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Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

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There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

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The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

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Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

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If you love someone, let them sleep.

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Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?