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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,072

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Trending via YouTube:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Spotted on Telegram:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Breaking via Reddit:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living my best life as a professional nothing-doer, thriving in solo mode! 🙃🛋️"

alone, alone time, favorite, favorite thing, introvert, leisure, nothing, relaxation, solitude, thing, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

2 months ago
delivery, gift, gift to self, humor, i, joy, love, me, online, online shopping, present, self, self-gift, shopping, shopping joy, surprises, things
I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

2 months ago
Airbnb, amenity, bed, cable, cable television, eating, gym, hell, hotel, humor, i, leisure, love, pool, relaxation, room, room service, service, show, staying, swimming, swimming pool, television, time, TV, TV Show, using, vacation, watch, while, working, worst
Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

1 month ago
alien, aliens, dating, first move, humor, move, relationship, visit, want, women
I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

4 months ago
bagel, everything, everything bagel, food, food metaphor, humor, i, love, me, metaphor, nothingburger, relationship, unrequited, unrequited love
The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

1 month ago
balance, being, dating, emotional, emotional balance, emotional support, healthy, humor, key, partnership, relationship, sad, support, taking
Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

1 month ago
better, chocolate, comparison, dove, dove chocolate, fact, food, fun, fun fact, humor, soap, taste

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Trending via Reddit:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Seen just now on X:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Just shared via Facebook:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

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Activity Log ✨

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

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My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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