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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Seen just now on X:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Just shared via Instagram:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Going viral on Reddit:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Living my best life as a professional nothing-doer, thriving in solo mode! 🙃🛋️"

alone, alone time, favorite, favorite thing, introvert, leisure, nothing, relaxation, solitude, thing, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

0

5 months ago

challenge, escape, escape room, game, good, humor, just, luck, mental, mental game, mind, room, thought, thoughts
Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

0

3 months ago

allowed, cicada, feels, frustration, humor, i, just, nature, relaxation, scream, should, sit, tree
I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

0

2 months ago

author, book, creativity, humor, joke, literature, page, writing
Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

0

2 months ago

1, away, call, country, home, laptop, left, ms, MS Teams, remote, remote work, say, second, Teams, technology, video, video call, work, work from home
This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

0

4 months ago

being, chair, danger, frustration, humor, pistol, play, political, political humor, presidency, toddler, watching
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

0

2 months ago

cookie, humor, i, indulgence, just, minute, movie, procrastination, self-deception, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Telegram this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

81 shares on Slack this month:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Just shared via Discord:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Just shared via Reddit:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Going viral on Pinterest:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨