My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry. Posted on2 weeks ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Every time I open my wallet, I get a surprise tear-jerking performance worthy of an Oscar! ๐ง ๐ธ๐ Related Funny Posts ๐ค Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion. The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me. I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside youโll find a smaller, more anxious onion. The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning. My wallet is empty, just like my soul.