Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.