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Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of patience: being on hold and reminded that your call is *so* important to them… Must be their way of saying, 'Please hold for eternity.' 🕰️🤣 #ImportantCallVibes"

brag, call, customer, customer service, hold, humor, important, irony, service, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

3 months ago
back, beautiful, flirting, follow, follow back, i, interaction, line, match, me, media, online, online interaction, pickup, pickup line, social, social media, Tinder
My dream car is a taco truck.

1 month ago
car, dream, dream car, food, food truck, food vehicle, humor, taco, taco truck, truck, vehicle
Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

1 month ago
day, favorite, favorite day, going, humor, i, pretend, procrastination, productive, relaxation, something, Sunday, where
Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

1 month ago
alike, appearance, boredom, comparison, dropped, family, going, humor, joke, just, later, me, nothing, participation, sibling, teasing, twins
The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

1 month ago
birth, born, brain, great, human, humor, liking, love, relationships, second, someone, soon, start, works
I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

1 month ago
being, devices, humor, humor quote, i, independence, left, love, own, solitude, technology

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Live now on Slack:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Making waves on X:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Making waves on TikTok:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Just landed via Slack:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

My dream car is a taco truck.

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Source??? Pattern recognition.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

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Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

My dream car is a taco truck.

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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