Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of patience: being on hold and reminded that your call is *so* important to them… Must be their way of saying, 'Please hold for eternity.' 🕰️🤣 #ImportantCallVibes"

brag, call, customer, customer service, hold, humor, important, irony, service, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

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2 months ago

anthem, award, award ceremony, ceremony, country, country music, humor, i, listen, music, music preference, national, national anthem, preference
Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

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2 months ago

babymaking, benny, Benny Hill, hill, humor, music, playful, song, theme, theme song
Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

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2 months ago

age, always, humor, me, older, people, personality, weird
Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

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2 months ago

anger, angry, attitude, different, emotion, frustration, getting, hair, humor, kind, mad, mood, whole
The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

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2 months ago

apple, bible, eating, escalate, humor, irony, murder, religion, second, sin, storytelling
The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

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2 months ago

announcer, belonging, belongings, forgetfulness, home, humor, just, keep, left, mine, personal, personal belonging, should, times, train, travel, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Trending via Pinterest:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Making waves on Messenger:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Going bananas on Discord:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨