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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Live now on Reddit:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Going viral on Twitch:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Shared recently on Facebook:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you spam, practice your eye-roll skills instead of cardio 📧🙄💪

annoyance, annoying, communication, email, heart, humor, newsletter, nothing, receiving, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

0

2 months ago

able, attention, attention span, being, check, complete, curiosity, distraction, feet, focus, hours, i, just, legs, miss, penguin, phone, procrastination, read, reading, sentence, span, study
“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, conversation, describe, humor, i, irony, me, personality, response, self-description, yourself
I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, awkwardness, food, hate, humor, i, offer, situation, social, social situation, someone
Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

0

2 months ago

connor, culture, disappointed, disappointment, grok, humor, letting, pop, pop culture, sarah, Sarah Connor, us
If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

0

2 months ago

activity, bar, drink, drinking, enough, fun, fun activity, humor, karaoke, nightlife, social
You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

0

2 months ago

cry, crypto, finance, humor, investment, joke, pun, spell, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Going viral on Twitch:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Spotted on WeChat:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Spotted on Facebook:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨