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Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

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When life gives you spam, practice your eye-roll skills instead of cardio ๐Ÿ“ง๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ’ช



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6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts โ€œOH NOโ€ and thatโ€™s kind of like what politicians do.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like Iโ€™m gonna solve a mystery.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. Itโ€™s like Iโ€™m going to Club Pee Pee.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

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