Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Making waves on Telegram:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Live now on Snapchat:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Breaking via Facebook:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Breaking via WeChat:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Making waves on Pinterest:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Spotted on Threads:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Spotted on YouTube:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Spotted on Reddit:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you spam, practice your eye-roll skills instead of cardio 📧🙄💪

annoyance, annoying, communication, email, heart, humor, newsletter, nothing, receiving, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

0

2 months ago

advice, am, book, cure, frustration, humor, i, sarcasm, should, stop, thank, thinking
Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

0

4 months ago

analogy, balloon, communication, finds, hope, hoping, humor, internet, media, message, person, right, social, social media, Twitter
Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

0

5 months ago

brothers, finance, humor, i, income, money, motivation, need, passive, passive income, wealth
No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

0

2 months ago

bed, bed time, every, family, humor, i, kids, night, night routine, parenting, routine, say, sleep, surprise, time
The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

0

2 months ago

am, casual, clothes, comfort, fact, fashion, humor, i, lot, person, personality, self-deprecation, sleep, sleepwear, wardrobe
Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, end, end times, existential, front-row, front-row seat, getting, humor, joke, satire, seat, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Going bananas on YouTube:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Spotted on YouTube:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Trending via TikTok:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Making waves on Discord:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Just shared via WeChat:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨