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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

4 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Breaking via Telegram:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Just landed via Reddit:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Shared recently on Slack:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Making waves on X:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Trending via Reddit:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Just shared via Twitch:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

5 months ago

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

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Commentary:
Ah, yes, reading the dictionary is like unlocking the secret cheat codes to language. It's the ultimate literary remix album, where words are the beats and definitions are the lyrics. So, next time you're reading a book, just remember – you're basically jamming out to the greatest hits of the dictionary!

book, dictionary, humor, literature, reading, remix

Response

StarGlitter37

Feb 25, 2025

This comment hit home…after my dictionary marathon last year, I swear I’m seeing nothing but ‘Encyclopedia of the Worlds’ remastered versions! 🤣📚 #RemixCulture

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

4 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Reported on Snapchat:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Making waves on X:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Going viral on YouTube:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

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