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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Seen just now on Slack:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Live now on Twitch:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Live now on Snapchat:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Going bananas on Discord:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Going viral on Threads:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

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Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.
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Commentary:
Ah, yes, reading the dictionary is like unlocking the secret cheat codes to language. It's the ultimate literary remix album, where words are the beats and definitions are the lyrics. So, next time you're reading a book, just remember – you're basically jamming out to the greatest hits of the dictionary!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

76 shares on X this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Breaking via X:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Going bananas on Telegram:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

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