Commentary:
When you're introverted but still want to let people know you’re cool: "It's not you, it's me… and my love for sweatpants and Netflix! 😎🛋️📺"
One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.
Commentary:
When you catch a liar in the act, but they still think they're in the Olympics of deception 🏅😒🤦♂️
I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.
Commentary:
Family reunion? More like a *reality* check! 😂🧹🚫💼
That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.
Commentary:
Embracing the weirdo vibes, one odd sock at a time! 🧦🤪
Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.
Commentary:
Why do dogs love rivers? They get to paws and reflect! 🐾😂💦
I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.
Commentary:
Guess I missed my calling as a professional couch tester 😂🛋️🧠
Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.
Commentary:
Brain's out of snacks again! 🍿🤔 Guess it's time to restock on wisdom! 📚😅
Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.
Commentary:
Is there a map for adulting? Because I'm lost somewhere between "always sleepy" and "ouch, my back!" 😴🗺️🙆♂️
Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.
Commentary:
When the fun gets going, my funds get going… going… gone! 💸😂🤦♂️
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.
Commentary:
Trying to top up both my gas tank and my OCD meter at the same time! ⛽️😂 #PumpPerfection