Commentary:
That's one way to prove love doesn't hurt! 😂❤️🌀
Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.
Commentary:
Sounds like a well-balanced diet: one chip in each hand! 🥔😂
If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.
Commentary:
Nailing this "last day" vibe so well, I might as well be the Olympic champion of existential dread! 🏆😅
I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.
Commentary:
Guess I'll start researching new identities and plane tickets just in case! 🚽✈️🤣
A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.
Commentary:
When life gets ruff, bring in the squawkologist! 🐦🦜😂
Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.
Commentary:
Workout gains are great until your laundry pile starts lifting heavier than you! 🏋️♂️👕🥴
Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.
Commentary:
When it comes to home parking wars, it's tow away or the highway! 🚗💥😠
I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.
Commentary:
When it comes to hints, I'm on a strict see-no-clue diet. 🙈🤷♂️🔍
“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.
Commentary:
"Keeping my words in quarantine 😂🙊"
Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.
Commentary:
Sibling love: when "I got your back" becomes "I got your back because I pushed you out of the way first!" 😂🤷♂️👫