Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Trending via Pinterest:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Just landed via Discord:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Making waves on Telegram:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Just shared via Telegram:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

0
People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs ex-girlfriends when you can collect ex-crushes like Pokémon cards? Gotta catch 'em all! 😄💔 #HeartbreakMaster"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

79 shares on Slack this month:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a person for me and me only.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,330

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Just shared via WeChat:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Making waves on TikTok:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴