Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Live now on Reddit:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Just landed via Facebook:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Going viral on Telegram:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Just landed via X:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll be fabulously misunderstood in head-to-toe black 😎🖤✨

attire, attitude, black, black attire, fashion, humor, people, people pleasing, pleasing, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

0

2 months ago

adventure, cactus, curiosity, humor, irony, know, nature, pain, sharp, stop, touch
You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

0

2 weeks ago

acquaintance, again, casual, casual acquaintance, chill, day, interaction, life, lol, never, social, social interaction, someone, university, whole
“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

0

5 months ago

anyone, anywhere, avoiding, avoiding people, distancing, eyes, great, home, humor, i, introvert, money, open, people, saving, saving money, social, social distancing, staying, staying home
Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

0

2 months ago

bottom, humor, journey, little, motivation, progress, success
The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, away, distance, humor, maintenance, need, older, self-care, toenail, toenails, trim
Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

0

2 months ago

domination, good, humor, manners, nerd, over, remember, shame, silicon, Silicon Valley, taken, technology, valley, world, world domination

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

36 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Spotted on WeChat:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Just shared via Facebook:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Making waves on Telegram:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Shared recently on Messenger:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Trending via Slack:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Making waves on Facebook:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨