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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Live now on Pinterest:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Just landed via WeChat:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Seen just now on Threads:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I have a yearning disability.

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about efficiency in the bedroom! 😂 When you're in a hurry, why settle for a 'quickie' when you can have a 'secs'? Just remember, time is of the essence! ⏱️😜"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Just landed via Reddit:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Going viral on Reddit:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Just landed via Discord:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Going viral on YouTube:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

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