Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Talk about efficiency in the bedroom! 😂 When you're in a hurry, why settle for a 'quickie' when you can have a 'secs'? Just remember, time is of the essence! ⏱️😜"

fast, humor, joke, play, play on words, quickie, secs, speed, time, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

5 months ago

adore, affection, behavior, bet, cat, feels, funny observation, good, headbutt, i, observation, pet, pet behavior, someone
At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

2 months ago

around, follow, forgot, funny situation, grocery, grocery store, guess, guy, humor, i, just, list, shopping, situation, store, wife
Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

2 months ago

accusation, exaggeration, humor, me, million, people, ten, today
In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

2 months ago

booster, booster shot, borchestershire, england, humor, joke, language, shot, spelled, wordplay
Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

2 months ago

challenge, chocolate, eating, hardest, humor, indulgence, starting, stopping, sweets
I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

2 months ago

anticipation, forward, full, getting, hours, humor, looking, night, overthinking, procrastination, relaxation, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Shared recently on Threads:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Just landed via Slack:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Going viral on Instagram:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Just landed via Slack:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Trending via TikTok:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Making waves on WeChat:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Breaking via Instagram:

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨