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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Going bananas on Discord:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Making waves on Reddit:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Just shared via Instagram:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Spotted on Threads:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Trending via Reddit:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Spotted on Slack:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

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Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the bed frame dilemma! 🎉🛏️ It's like I'm hosting a nightly rave while I just wanted a peaceful slumber! 🥳 Who knew a little wood creaking could turn my bedroom into a VIP party? 🎶💃 But hey, if my neighbors think the epic sounds of 'Battle of the Bed Springs' are the latest trend, I guess I should start charging for tickets! 🎟️🤭 At this rate, my bed might as well

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Instagram this month:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

89 shares on Twitch this month:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

55 shares on Discord this month:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

72 shares on Discord this month:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Trending via Discord:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Spotted on Slack:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Just shared via Telegram:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Just landed via TikTok:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

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