Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,763

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Breaking via Discord:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Just landed via Slack:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Shared recently on Slack:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

15 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Waiting for that romantic teleportation while still in my pajamas! 😂🛋️💫

future, future love, humor, introvert, living, living room, love, meant, relationship, room, simply, single, teleport

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

0

2 months ago

asked, boss, communication, effort, employees, everyone, humor, keep, me, morale, motivated, motivation, office, stop, stop talking, talking, workplace
A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

0

2 months ago

estate, haunted, house, humor, listing, listing price, me, price, prices, real, real estate, scare
Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, bike, childhood, fun, fun activity, just, nostalgia, parent, parents, riding, young
I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

0

2 months ago

body, body count, count, curiosity, dating, humor, i, remark, self-description, spirit, witty, witty remark
They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, education, humor, irony, pregnancy, still, teen, trauma, us, well
Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

0

2 months ago

bible, Bible lesson, Bible name, giving, humor, kid, kids, last, lesson, lessons, me, Moses, name, names, night, robbery, stop, tried

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

65 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

63 shares on Discord this month:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Spotted on Discord:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Shared recently on X:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Just landed via WeChat:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Back to the Future and chill?

Spotted on Messenger:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Making waves on Reddit:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨