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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Trending via YouTube:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Going viral on WeChat:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Making waves on Slack:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Going viral on Messenger:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Just shared via TikTok:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Live now on Slack:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Trending via Snapchat:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Going viral on Twitch:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Waiting for that romantic teleportation while still in my pajamas! 😂🛋️💫

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

85 shares on X this month:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Going viral on Facebook:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Just shared via Slack:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Going viral on Telegram:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Trending via Telegram:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Just landed via Discord:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

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