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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Going viral on X:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Trending via Reddit:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Just landed via Facebook:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Seen just now on Reddit:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Trending via Pinterest:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

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Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like their people-pleasing skills are in beta testing mode 😂🤷‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

74 shares on X this month:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

24 shares on Discord this month:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Shared recently on Slack:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Going bananas on Messenger:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Going viral on X:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

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