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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Jan 5, 2026

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Making waves on Facebook:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Live now on Snapchat:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

2 months ago

0

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the undecided voter – the most sought-after creature during election season! 🤔🗳️ Seeking attention while keeping us all on our toes with those indecisive vibes. Who needs Netflix dramas when we have undecided voters? 😄 #ElectionDrama"

attention, everyone, humor, i, need, politics, satire, self-promotion, undecided, voter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

0

4 months ago

always, being, benefit, early, humor, irritation, just, minutes, mood, morning, past, waking, waking up
The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

0

2 months ago

after, days, five, humor, Monday, relatable, weekend, work, worst
I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging process, avocado, comparison, feel, fine, food, hoping, humor, i, process, self-deprecation, sort, wine
Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

0

2 months ago

energy, enough, everyone, fatigue, function, good, humor, luck, motivation, struggle, trying, week
What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

0

2 months ago

being, cooking, flip, food, humor, jolly, lighthearted, pancake, perspective, something, think
Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

0

2 months ago

appearance, diarrhea, good, humor, magical, people, photo, photogenic, photography, pic, picture, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Facebook this month:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

12 shares on Threads this month:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Spotted on YouTube:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Spotted on Threads:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Live now on WeChat:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Trending via WhatsApp:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

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