Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Live now on Slack:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Freshly posted on X:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Going viral on Slack:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Going viral on Instagram:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Just landed via Slack:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Seen just now on Slack:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Finally found the spellbook for peaceful slumber—no potions required! 💤🧙‍♂️✨

magic, night, nights, sleep, tranquil, voodoo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

0

2 months ago

abbreviation, humor, irony, language, length, meaning, means, word
Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

0

1 month ago

age, alive, anniversary, colleague, everything, humor, longer, me, milestone, say, someone, work, working
There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

0

2 months ago

accidental, accidentally, humor, important, important person, irony, job, nothing, person, responsibility, workplace, worse
Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

0

2 months ago

clothing, fashion, good, humor, panty, ruin, style, sundress
If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

0

5 months ago

crust, friendship, humor, ID, pizza, pizza crust, rat, share, sharing, Subway, subway rat
Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

0

4 months ago

disguise, fake, fake mustache, humor, just, Monday, mustache, Tuesday, weekday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

86 shares on Slack this month:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

51 shares on X this month:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

58 shares on Discord this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Trending via Twitch:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Breaking via Slack:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Just landed via Pinterest:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Just shared via X:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨