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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Going viral on Facebook:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Live now on Pinterest:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Spotted on TikTok:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Just shared via YouTube:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Breaking via Facebook:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

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There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.
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Commentary:
"When it comes to food thieves, keep your friends close and your forks closer! 🍴👀 #SharingIsCaringButNotAlways"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Making waves on Slack:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Going bananas on Threads:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Going viral on Threads:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Making waves on Discord:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

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