Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Going bananas on TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Just shared via Facebook:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Making waves on WeChat:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Trending via WeChat:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Spreading quickly via X:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Spotted on X:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Toddlers: the ultimate truth-tellers who think 6 a.m. is the perfect time for a dance party! 💃🕺🥱

asked, child, honesty, humor, nobody, parenting, roommate, toddler, toddlers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

0

2 months ago

adult, communication, handle, humor, mature, mature adult, mom, reaction, responsibility, telling
Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

0

2 months ago

ban, body, body part, gross, handshake, humor, interaction, naked, norm, parts, should, social, social norm, together, touch, world
Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

0

2 months ago

activity, cake, ever, humor, jump, party, question, surprise
The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

0

2 months ago

humor, language, misread, pun, reading, spelling, word, wordplay
I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, self-awareness, speaking, spontaneity, surprise, thinking
An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

0

2 months ago

Amish, churning, culture, desert, festival, fun, humor, irony, man, party

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

42 shares on X this month:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Live now on Messenger:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Just landed via YouTube:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Trending via Messenger:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨