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"Twitter: Where the crazy show is just a scroll away! 🤪📱 Enjoying the chaos from a safe distance has never been more entertaining! 🤣 #TwitterTales"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

1 month ago
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You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

3 months ago
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I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

1 month ago
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I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

1 month ago
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This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

5 months ago
after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion
He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Trending via Reddit:

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

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Activity Log ✨

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

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Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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