Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.