Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Just landed via YouTube:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Making waves on Telegram:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Just landed via Facebook:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Seen just now on TikTok:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Just landed via Threads:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about avoiding unknown calls with a humorous take on social anxiety.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Pro tip: Breathe dramatically into the phone to assert dominance 😤📞 #HeavyBreathingChampion"

breathing, breathing competition, call, communication, competition, humor, interaction, me, number, numbers, patience, phone, phone call, sarcasm, social, social interaction, talk, unknown, unknown number, waiting, welcome

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

41 shares on X this month:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

27 shares on Facebook this month:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

21 shares on X this month:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Making waves on Discord:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Trending via Snapchat:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Trending via Threads:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Spotted on Telegram:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Seen just now on Discord:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Making waves on WeChat:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨