Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Vote for me, I'll cut the alphabet in half – because who needs the hassle of Z when you can just stop at Y? 🤣✂️ #LessAlphabetMoreFun"

alphabet, clever, clever joke, cut, half, humor, joke, me, politics, vote, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, another, awkward, awkward interaction, being, boyfriend, daughter, every, family, hate, hospitality, human, humor, interaction, life, me, nice, question, relationship, watching, while, wife
“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

0

2 months ago

another, bikini, diet, eating, food, humor, i, irony, joke, season, summer, whisper
Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

0

2 months ago

balloons, big, big check, camera, camera crew, check, crew, doorbell, expectations, funny request, holding, humor, request, ring, surprise
I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

0

2 months ago

cart, closing, closing tab, everything, habit, humor, laughing, online, online shopping, retail, retail therapy, shopping, shopping habit, subtotal, tab, therapy, want
If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, coffee, escapism, humor, problem, relaxation, sex, solutions, tequila
“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty sleep, day, expectations, humor, i, self-deprecation, sleep, still, trash, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Slack this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

31 shares on Threads this month:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

18 shares on Threads this month:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

84 shares on Threads this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

96 shares on Discord this month:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Trending via Reddit:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Just shared via Messenger:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Spotted on Threads:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Making waves on Twitch:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨