Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Vote for me, I'll cut the alphabet in half – because who needs the hassle of Z when you can just stop at Y? 🤣✂️ #LessAlphabetMoreFun"

alphabet, clever, clever joke, cut, half, humor, joke, me, politics, vote, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

0

2 months ago

chores, cleaning, family, humor, i, laundry, life, parenting, ruin, teen, today
When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

0

2 months ago

causing, causing scene, comparison, double, double standard, Hulk, humor, i, incredible, leave, need, place, scene, shit, standard, wreck
“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

0

2 months ago

apple, better, children, comparison, humor, life, loyalty, music, okay, playlists, quality, sound, Spotify
That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

0

2 months ago

building, depressing, disappointment, humor, irony, moment, pull, sarcasm, work
Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

0

4 months ago

35, alone, being, business, business day, day, days, energy, humor, introvert, left, recharge, sleep, social, social energy, solitude
Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

0

4 months ago

addiction, cigarette, eye, eyes, eyesight, humor, metaphor, phone, screen, screen time, technology, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Reddit this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

35 shares on Discord this month:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

54 shares on Discord this month:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

90 shares on YouTube this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

85 shares on X this month:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Trending via Threads:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Freshly posted on Slack:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Trending via Reddit:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Trending via Discord:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Live now on Twitch:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Just shared via Threads:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨