Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Spotted on Discord:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Live now on Threads:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Trending via Discord:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Live now on Messenger:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Trending via Discord:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Still waiting, but at least I don't have to worry about becoming a dinosaur snack! 🦖🐐😅

animal, anticipation, culture, goat, good, happen, humor, jurassic, Jurassic Park, meme, park, patience, patiently, pop, pop culture, something, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

0

2 months ago

beauty, confidence, humor, person, plastic, plastic surgeon, smile, surgeon, transformation, world
I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

0

2 months ago

ago, consequence, consequences, email, emails, fine, humor, i, procrastination, responding, response, silence, stopped, three
I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

0

2 months ago

always, always available, am, available, communication, digital, digital presence, hello, here, humor, i, instant, instant response, love, media, online, online communication, people, presence, quick, quick reply, reply, replying, response, seconds, social, social media, texting
I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

0

2 months ago

app, bet, calculator, humor, i, pretty, shame, wrap, wrapped
Hobbies include being misunderstood.

0

2 months ago

activity, being, fun, hobby, humor, misunderstanding, sarcasm
Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

0

2 months ago

April, April Fool’s, celebrate, celebration, costume, culture, day, fool, fool’s, humor, identity, sensitivity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

84 shares on X this month:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Spotted on Slack:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Going viral on YouTube:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Trending via Snapchat:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Just shared via Facebook:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨