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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Making waves on YouTube:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Spotted on Reddit:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Going viral on WeChat:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

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Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I misunderstood the 'bare' essentials for this party! 🙈🎉👶"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

53 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

58 shares on X this month:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Going viral on Twitch:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Shared recently on Threads:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Making waves on X:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Spotted on Messenger:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Shared recently on Discord:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

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