Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,757

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Trending via YouTube:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Spotted on Threads:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Just shared via Instagram:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Probably around the same time I stop eating cereal for dinner 🍜🏠🔍

age, answering, around, curiosity, door, grow, home, house, humor, i, knocking, sneaking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

0

2 months ago

anything, expectations, humor, i, identity, me, parents, self-deprecation, told, unacceptable, wanted
What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

0

6 days ago

alarm, alarm clock, bed, bedtime, before, clock, clocks, hope, humor, i, just, morning, morning routine, people, routine, sleep, time, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up, work
There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

0

1 month ago

actual, finance, humor, irony, market, movie, stock, stock market, street, wall, wall street, wolf
Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

0

2 months ago

aging, fruit, humor, perspective, raisin, still, sweet, sweetness, wrinkle, wrinkles
I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

0

1 month ago

clarity, clear, communication, expectations, humor, i, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signal, perfectly, relationship, signal, signals, thought
Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

0

1 month ago

apology, confidence, delete, humor, media, mistake, please, post, pretty, reply, sarcasm, self-deprecating, social, social media, stupid, wit, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

85 shares on Threads this month:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Shared recently on WeChat:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Just landed via WeChat:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Spotted on Slack:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Going bananas on Telegram:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨