Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

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The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

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No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.