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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Spotted on Slack:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Just landed via Facebook:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Going viral on Slack:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Going viral on TikTok:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Spotted on X:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Trending via Facebook:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

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Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.
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Commentary:
Finally, a use for deep fake technology that saves us from the 'Can you hear me now?' struggle! 🤔🤖💼

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,846

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Going viral on Messenger:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Breaking via Messenger:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

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