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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Freshly posted on Discord:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Trending via Reddit:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I had too much to think last night.

Just shared via Slack:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Just shared via Twitch:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Going viral on TikTok:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Spotted on Threads:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Witty quote questioning deep fake tech's potential for good instead of mischief.
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Commentary:
Finally, a use for deep fake technology that saves us from the 'Can you hear me now?' struggle! 🤔🤖💼

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Discord this month:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

90 shares on Slack this month:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

33 shares on WeChat this month:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Trending via WhatsApp:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Just landed via Facebook:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Just landed via Twitch:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Breaking via Discord:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Going bananas on Threads:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Spotted on Messenger:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Going viral on Slack:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

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