Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

55 shares on Telegram this month:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.