Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your patience clock hits 0, but the day clock is stuck on eternal daylight savings! 🌞⏰🙃"

day, end, end of day, frustration, humor, impatience, joke, left, much, patience, sarcasm, time, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

0

2 months ago

automation, humor, job, robot, take, takeover, technology, wish, work
Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

0

2 months ago

enough, goodnight, humor, jealousy, know, man, men, paralysis, relationship, rest, sleep, sleep paralysis, woman
Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

0

2 months ago

brain, conversation, even, humor, i, me, mind, self-talk, shut, talking
I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

0

2 months ago

bag, crisps, family, food, humor, i, joke, longing, miss, snack
Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

0

2 months ago

age, breath, breathing, health, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, nostril, once, time, where, youth
Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

0

2 months ago

activity, bite, call, dirt, dirty, fun, fun activity, gardener, insect, insect bite, only, outdoor, outdoor activity, outside, people, relaxing, sunburn, sweat, sweaty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

14 shares on Slack this month:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

87 shares on Threads this month:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

90 shares on X this month:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Seen just now on X:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Trending via WeChat:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Just landed via Threads:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Going viral on Slack:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Going viral on X:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Just landed via Facebook:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Live now on Telegram:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨